Now With Less Barf

January sucks like a Dyson, doesn’t it? It’s cold, dark and the Christmas bills just keep pouring in. I ended up with a stomach bug and was abed for 4 days.

In my fevered and dehydrated stupor, I thought about you guys. No, really. I wondered what you were doing, if you were safe and warm and not vomiting every half hour. Then I sort of started to hate you, just a bit, for getting on with your stupid, happy, unvomitty lives. And I felt guilty for hating you all, as I’m Canadian, and we don’t hate randomly. We might express mild disapproval for something, but hating? No. We are the sort of folks who will gently put down our beer, put up our hand in a non-aggressive manner and with a slightly furrowed brow, ask you politely to stop doing that which offends us or we may have to raise our voice somewhat.

Like a good Canadian, I decided to channel my guilt and untoward feelings.

I thought, “How can I change the world? Make this a better, less nauseous place for all of us?” And I made these.

 

card 2

card 3

Less barfy greeting cards! I only put a couple of them up here, but you get the idea. Click on the card and it’ll take you to the store. I hope you like them.

And if you’ve got anything you think needs to be on a card, leave me a comment and I’ll see what I can do.

Love to you all.

xxoo

22 thoughts on “Now With Less Barf

  1. So sorry you’ve been all vomitty. Hope you’re on the mend.

    And to help brighten your day, I’ve got a lil’ somethin’ somethin’ for ya over on my blog. :o)

  2. You don’t need to hate me. I got food poisoning on Christmas Day and spent the entire night in the bathroom sitting on the toilet and puking into a trashcan.

    However, I was better 12 hours later, so maybe you will still want to hate me.

  3. Oh, honey. Your greeting cards are lovely. Truly! But I laughed coffee through my nose at your description of us mild-mannered Canadians. While it is quite difficult for us to hate randomly, those politely raised hands and expressions of mild disapproval have led to a fair number of bar fights, and at least a couple all-out brawls. Come to think it if, those rowdy folk may have had the flu…. Poor dears. 😉 (In my defense, my house has been ankle deep in mucous due to whatever respiratory virus is going around. Again. It’s muffling my Canadian-ness.)

  4. Ugh, sorry you’ve been sick! But I love the cards! I like the one about showing up with a bad and shovel. And I would LOVE for a man to give me the ‘so fucking beautiful’ card. Really fun!

  5. NOTHING is worse than throwing up. NOTHING. IN fact, I have a deathly fear of hurling. That is why I bleach things until my hands are red, raw and nearly bleeding when one of the children spews. You poor, creative, gorgeous, lovely-greeting-filled dear. Hey! You’re supposed to email me with an idea you had!

  6. Here’s what I would like on a card: “Oh fuck, you’re not dead. Sorry for sending the sympathy card to your wife/husband/mother. So, how are you?” Probably there should be a sad dog, but the kind of dog who’s sad about not getting a walk, not the kind who’s sad because you’re dead.

Go on. Talk to Mama Duck.

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