This old duck is a bit pissed. By pissed I mean cranky, not pissed as in pissed, which is a Canadian farmer term for staggering drunk. I promise I’m not . *Hubby standing behind me nodding head, mouthing, yes, she is.* Well okay, I might be a bit tipsy, but nevermind.
I have to tell you what’s happened. I was about to register my domain name and I found a gazillion blogs named One Odd Duck. I know! *Offended ruffling of feathers.* Which is actually okay, because there is room for many odd ducks in this world. But one in particular stood out.
It’s written by a person who is so totally different from me that it is almost unbelievable. This is a person who I believe has only one arm and has a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome. Who also identifies as a strongly religious person. Now, I have two arms, no Asperger’s that I’m aware of, and I’m pretty sure Jesus would be the funniest drunk at the party. Plus, I curse. And swear. And threaten violence. Fuckshit! Sorry.
So I got to thinking. Maybe I should change my blog name. So that no one that attempts to find me reads this other persons blog and thinks “Well, this isn’t funny at all…” or worse, someone from their life finds my cussy blog and thinks their friend has dropped their cookie basket. (I don’t even know what that means.)
To that end, the First (and last) RE-NAME THIS BLOG contest!!!!!!
YAY! YIPPEE!!!! Whistles and confetti!!!!
Well, I can tell you are all excited. And are probably thinking “Dumbass. She should have checked that shit beforehand.” I know, I know. But I isn’t the sharpest pencil crayon in the case sometimes!
I’ve been thinking of a few names, and to tell you the truth, I am absolutely flummoxed. But you, dear readers, are some of the cleverest people I know. So I thought I’d turn to you. Also because I know you will make me laugh and laugh with your comments and suggestions. So please, have at it. The winner will of course, get the bestest prize ever!!!! A New Cat!!! (Seriously, I have too many. Male or female, your pick. If you want more than one, I can probably find you one that’s pregnant.) Think how happy your kiddies will be! Aunty Leanne is the best! Yay! (No, really. I’ll ship it to you. FedEx.)
Give it to me, dear duckies. I thank you.
Before you all go shitting yourselves, I have absolutely nothing against people who are missing limbs. I grew up in a farming community where there were ten men to every acre that had lost something in an auger accident. I told you before how excited farmers get! I also have nothing against farmers, or religious folks for that matter. I have many of those in my family. Farmers. And maybe a christian or two, I’m not sure. But anyway. I also live by a big Army base. Lots of those guys lost a something while peacekeeping. I honor them. And thank them. So no, I’m not only for farmers losing limbs. I’m not prejudiced like that. Or christians. This is all coming out so wrong. Oh, fuck it.
SECOND DISCLAIMER: I have worked in special education and health care for the past ten or more years. Everyone I have met that has Asperger’s Syndrome is smarter than me. And probably you. Enough said.
THIRD DISCLAIMER: No, you cannot exchange the cat you win for an equal monetary value. Do I look like Costco? Jeebus…
FOURTH DISCLAIMER: I am serious about number two.